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Healing Relationships From the Inside Out

Healing Relationships From the Inside Out is the podcast for compassionate, heart-centered women who give deeply in their relationships… yet don’t always feel seen, heard, or supported. Formerly known as The Better Relationships Podcast, this space is where clarity replaces confusion, harmony replaces overwhelm, and your needs finally get a voice.

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Dr. Dar Hawks is a Relationship & Communication Healer with over two decades of experience guiding women and couples back into connection, truth, and ease. Her approach is gentle, practical, and refreshingly accessible — no applications, no income disclosures, no high-pressure packages.

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Healing Relationships From the Inside Out

Ep70 Talking Isn’t Working in Your Relationship — Here’s Why

December 17, 2025 • Dr. Dar Hawks • Season 13 • Episode 70

I would love to hear from you. What did you think about this episode? Do you have any questions?

This is a short, focused episode for anyone who has tried communicating clearly — and is still feeling unheard, unseen, or stuck.

If you’ve been talking about your feelings and nothing is changing, this episode explains why that advice often fails — especially for heart-centered women who carry the emotional load in their relationships.

In just a few minutes, you’ll learn:

Why expressing feelings alone doesn’t create relational change
The hidden issue most communication advice ignores
What actually needs to shift before talking helps

This episode is meant to reframe, not overwhelm — and to prepare you for deeper healing work.

✨ Take the Relationship Needs Quiz to uncover what’s really missing:
👉 https://drdarhawks.com/relationship-needs-quiz

✨ Explore the Better Relationships Communication Toolkit for grounded, emotionally safe communication tools:
👉 https://toolkit.drdarhawks.com

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New episodes roughly every other week — you’re not alone on this journey.

Also, leave a comment, ask me a question, and let me know if you resonated with an episode or not in the fan mail area.

SPEAKER_00: 2:57

Hi dear one, I'm Dr. Dar Hawks, and welcome back to the Healing Relationships from the Inside Out podcast. If you've been talking about your feelings, explaining yourself, trying to stay calm, clear, and reasonable, and yet nothing is actually changing, this episode is for you. Because here's what I want you to hear right away. Talking about your feelings is not the same thing as fixing a relationship. And if you've been doing everything right and still feel unseen, unheard, misunderstood, or dismissed, it doesn't mean you're bad at communication. It means you've been given incomplete advice. Most relationship advice says just communicate, just express your feelings, just be honest, just be yourself, just tell the truth, but here's the truth no one else. But here's the truth no one tells you. You can express your feelings perfectly and still not feel valued, heard, seen, or understood. Why? Because feelings are information, they're not instructions. When you say I feel lonely, I feel overwhelmed, I feel unappreciated, I don't feel valued, your partner may hear criticism, failure, pressure, or emotional overwhelm, especially if emotional safety is not present. Talking doesn't fail because feelings are wrong. It fails because needs are un. It fails because relationship needs are unclear and safety is missing. Let's now talk about the real issue, unmet sovereign relationship needs. Here's the shift that changes everything. Most relationship conflict is not about communication. It's about unmet relationship needs. When a need is not being met, talking feels like begging, arguing, repeating yourself in a louder voice each time you say it, or shutting down. And the more you talk, the worse it feels, and nothing seems to get better. Because what you're actually trying to say is, I need safety, I need reassurance, I need freedom, I need partnership, I need to matter. But without clarity, your partner can't respond differently, even if they want to. This is where so many heart-centered, compassionate women get stuck. If this is landing for you, I want you to pause this podcast and do this next. Take the Relationship Needs quiz at drhawks.com. You'll see the quiz button at the top right of the page. This quiz will show you exactly which of your needs are driving your frustration and why talking alone has not worked. Now let's talk about what actually does create change. Real change happens when three things come first: emotional safety, needs clarity, and self-trust. When you know your primary relationship needs, you stop over-explaining, you stop justifying, and you stop arguing for understanding. You communicate differently because you feel differently. And here's the surprising part. Your partner often will respond differently without you saying more. Because your energy shifts when clarity arrives. If you want support putting this into practice, I created the Better Relationships Communication Toolkit for you. It walks you through identifying your sovereign relationship needs, communicating without self-abandonment, and restoring your emotional safety. You can explore it at toolkit.drdarhawks.com. I want you to know that you are not asking for too much. You're asking from a place that just has not been supported yet. Talking is not wrong, but talking without safety and without clarity will always feel exhausting. You deserve relationships that feel steady, mutual, and emotionally safe. And you don't have to force that by saying more. I'm so glad you're here. I hope I see you in the quiz or in the toolkit. And if not, until next time, please take good care of your heart.